Agata, Lil’ Fatty (AKA S.P. AKA Big Sleep AKA Sleepy P.), and Cre-Cre (Credence ClearWizard Revival AKA CCR) with his magical tiny boar friend, Fox Mulder (AKA Foxy AKA Magic Pig AKA MP47) all met up with the Mayor Fruw of Darrun who requested their help sussing out/snuffing out the goblins who had taken over some caves and getting back some of the city’s weaponry. The three of them, despite their different backgrounds and reasons for adventuring, were like “a’ight.” In exchange, they got some snacks and dranks from the mayor as well as some healing potions from the town magic lady, Fonn.
The gang hit the trail and everything was boring until they see some shit in the distance, there are a couple of raggedy ass kids on the path and one’s on the ground and the other is all “help us wa wa wa.” Cre-Cre sends Foxy into the woods to sniff out if there’s any goblins hanging back there using these whippersnappers as a trap. Pig is just like “snort snort” and nothing is out of the ordinary, so then S.P. is all “I’m mad intuitive, y’all” so he goes up thurr and talks to the older boy who is like “My bro is hurt bad, help us.” Lil’ Fatty is all “well I’m hella good so I should get up in his grill and try to heal him” but then the “hurt” one pounces up with a little dagger and is like AGGG I’M GONNA STAB YOUU! Luckily S.P. is able to knock that wimpy dagger out his shitty hands. Older kid is all I’VE GOT A SWORD, Y’ALL! but Agata steps and is like BITCH PLEASE and slashed that kid but good, she did not have time for their fucking nonsense. S.P. disarms him too, so as to prevent Agata from continuing her berserker assault on harmless children. So now they’re both whining like little babies about how they were just hungry and that’s why they wanted to jack our shit and so (“for some reason stupid fucking reason” -Agata) S.P. comes back with a healing potion and tells them to go to town to see if anyone can help them there. SO THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME but it was really only like an hour and Agata got to get her blood thirst going so she could be good and ready for the goblin slaughter.
They continue down the road until they get to the cave. They go inside and stash their cart of shit in the first foyer and then walk on until they see two long ass dark hallways so they’re like WTF now? Cre-Cre and Lil’ Fatty have many cool thangs they can do but they aren’t just sheer fucking brute force like Agata, so the two of them post up in the one hall and then the lone Agata at the other. Well FUCK there are three goddamn goblins coming up EACH hallway and shit gets really real. At one point Cre Cre sends Foxy over to Agata for back up but that little pig gets fucked up and is just 1 point away from becoming some slimy ass goblin ham. Agata slices and dices through her Goblins and sustains minimal injury while the team of CCR and Sleepy P. are crushing it because Cre Cre got that magic good good and sent a Rainbow Explosion in those bullshit goblin’s faces and they were straight knocked to the motherfucking ground for a million rounds. Agata stopped wasting her power attacks on these fools and just make them into lumps of grody goblin sashimi with her sword and bow while Lil Fatty was all FLURY OF BLOOOOOOWS, bitches! The crew snatched up all the weapons and shields, even the brokedown goblin shit, just to teach those assholes a lesson.